||[Mar. 27th, 2008|11:16 am]
It seems like living together before marriage is just the normal thing to do now. We brought up both sons to honor God and also to respect women. Even with that, the moment we moved to Florida and left our oldest son in GA, his girlfriend moved in with him. It wouldn't have happened had we not left, but that's neither here nor there now. The point is, couples no longer date and then marry. The norm now is to date and then live together. I have to wonder if there aren't thousands of young women who are missing one of the best parts of a lasting relationship - the romance.
God's design for women is so carefully and lovingly planned. There's nothing like that first night together as husband & wife in a carefully set up home. And, if you've lived together before marriage, unfortunately it's an evening you'll never experience. Sure, you can have sex, and it can be sex as "husband & wife" for the first time, but you'll never have the first evening together under the same roof as husband and wife if you already live together. There's romance to be had there, and it's lost forever on those who choose poorly. It becomes a "been there done that" thing.
A new book by Mike and Harriet McManus, "Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers" speaks to the issue using numbers. It says 67 percent of cohabitating couples who marry eventually divorce. How sad. Divorce is tough. I can't think of any divorced couples who look back on it without regrets. Maybe the regrets aren't toward the actual divorce, but more so toward a relationship that shouldn't have been consummated in the first place. Say you find your Prince Charming the second time around. Can you think of a single person who doesn't wish it were the first time around? Regrets. Regrets that don't necessarily have to be. Oh, that we women would follow our hearts for Christ and not our hearts for self! Oh, that men would do the same!
The worst quote from the book:
"...to share living expenses" - - how lovely, caring, and romantic. And, women thinking they can "audition" men for the "job" just makes me wonder what alternative universe I now live in!
"Men and woman cohabitate for different reasons," Mike McManus told BP. "Women see it as a step toward marriage. They think they can audition for this job. Men do it because they like to have the ready availability of sex and having someone share their living expenses. Women should heed their mother's advice -- if you give away the milk, he won't buy the cow."